(I want to say that this outfit was better in person, but who am I kidding, it probably wasn't.)
tee - swapped
dress - Old Navy/hand-me-down
shoes - Zigi NY/Shoedazzle
So, this day marked 1 year since I met my bang-butler, and I wanted to talk about internet dating, 'cause that's how we met.
I support internet dating and here's why: Where do you go to meet people once you're out of school? The bar? Gross.
I used OKCupid, 'cause it's free and I'm a cheap-ass. (And everyone in Chicago is on OKC. Or so I heard.)
Turns out I actually really like their system. And here's why!
1. The website helps you write your profile by providing sections that you fill out. Things like "What I'm doing with my life", "Favorite books, movies, show, music, and food", "I spend a lot of time thinking about", and "On a typical Friday night I am". This is much easier than a big, open space wherein you are supposed to write paragraphs and paragraphs about yourself. I always had a hard time with that.
2. They have a ton of pre-made, multiple choice questions that you answer and then you choose the answer(s) you will accept (from your prospective daters) and the importance of such question/answer/issue/whatever. This is the way that they "match" you.
Based on this info, you can scroll through profiles and you will see a percentage that you are matched as 'Match', 'Friend' and 'Enemy'.
OK, so some tips.
(These are specific for OKC, but you can adopt them for almost any dating site.)
1. Make sure your name conveys your personality as much as possible. Don't just use "Mary82" 'cause your name is Mary and you were born in 1982. Get creative.
2. Take your time filling out your profile. Do 1 section every day or every couple of days. No need to rush things. There will be people there to date once you've finished.
3. That being said, don't stress about making it perfect, but make sure your true self is coming across.
4. Answer as many questions as possible. I think I answered close to, or over, 600. I believe this is super important for getting a great match.
5. Figure out what is important to you to streamline your search. Then come up with your own process to weed out the good from the bad.
This is what I did: I used the search feature, looking for a man, between 30 and 38 years of age, atheist, in Chicago, and sorted by Match %, with the highest showing first. Then I would delve into the profiles and check out the questions. There were a few that were super important to me. One was "Can overweight people be sexy?" - if they answered "No", I was done. Another was a question relating to the body type you prefer/want/whatever. If they answered slim, athletic, etc., I was done. Having just gotten out of a relationship where my weight/size was an issue and brought up regularly, I didn't want to put myself into that position again. If someone isn't open to dating someone who isn't "thin", I'm not going to change their mind.
Besides that, I just looked for someone that was real, seemed normal, didn't do drugs regularly and wasn't hideous. I am open to all types of looks - bald/hair, blonde/brunette, tall/short, fat/thin, glasses/no glasses... whatever. Obviously, you have to find the person attractive, but my advice is to not base too much on looks. Someone can become more attractive based on their personality and your chemistry, but the most boring, hot-dude ever, is still boring no matter how much time you spend with him, so... (How long can you stare at someone, before it gets old?)
Lastly, don't be afraid to make the first move (ladies). I messaged a few people in 2 weeks but only 1 responded - he was a 98% Match and 4 % Enemy (I don't remember what the Friend % was). I kept my message brief, but tried to put a little humor in it, too. I think it was "Since I've stalked your profile a few times now, I thought I would say hello. Hello! Let me know if you want to get a drink sometime."
I didn't want to waste time going back and forth with emails and then get together and have nothing to talk about, because we already covered everything prior. I also feel that emails don't really give you an accurate idea of what someone is like. They could be totally different in person, and now you've both just wasted your time.
Other than that, just keep an open mind, and have fun with it! The second internet dating becomes a chore, you should take a break.
(Oh, and this should go without saying, but when you do meet someone, make sure it's in a public place and they're not picking you up. Stay safe.)
Have any of y'all internet dated? Have any advice or fun(ny) stories?
So, this day marked 1 year since I met my bang-butler, and I wanted to talk about internet dating, 'cause that's how we met.
I support internet dating and here's why: Where do you go to meet people once you're out of school? The bar? Gross.
I used OKCupid, 'cause it's free and I'm a cheap-ass. (And everyone in Chicago is on OKC. Or so I heard.)
Turns out I actually really like their system. And here's why!
1. The website helps you write your profile by providing sections that you fill out. Things like "What I'm doing with my life", "Favorite books, movies, show, music, and food", "I spend a lot of time thinking about", and "On a typical Friday night I am". This is much easier than a big, open space wherein you are supposed to write paragraphs and paragraphs about yourself. I always had a hard time with that.
2. They have a ton of pre-made, multiple choice questions that you answer and then you choose the answer(s) you will accept (from your prospective daters) and the importance of such question/answer/issue/whatever. This is the way that they "match" you.
Based on this info, you can scroll through profiles and you will see a percentage that you are matched as 'Match', 'Friend' and 'Enemy'.
OK, so some tips.
(These are specific for OKC, but you can adopt them for almost any dating site.)
1. Make sure your name conveys your personality as much as possible. Don't just use "Mary82" 'cause your name is Mary and you were born in 1982. Get creative.
2. Take your time filling out your profile. Do 1 section every day or every couple of days. No need to rush things. There will be people there to date once you've finished.
3. That being said, don't stress about making it perfect, but make sure your true self is coming across.
4. Answer as many questions as possible. I think I answered close to, or over, 600. I believe this is super important for getting a great match.
5. Figure out what is important to you to streamline your search. Then come up with your own process to weed out the good from the bad.
This is what I did: I used the search feature, looking for a man, between 30 and 38 years of age, atheist, in Chicago, and sorted by Match %, with the highest showing first. Then I would delve into the profiles and check out the questions. There were a few that were super important to me. One was "Can overweight people be sexy?" - if they answered "No", I was done. Another was a question relating to the body type you prefer/want/whatever. If they answered slim, athletic, etc., I was done. Having just gotten out of a relationship where my weight/size was an issue and brought up regularly, I didn't want to put myself into that position again. If someone isn't open to dating someone who isn't "thin", I'm not going to change their mind.
Besides that, I just looked for someone that was real, seemed normal, didn't do drugs regularly and wasn't hideous. I am open to all types of looks - bald/hair, blonde/brunette, tall/short, fat/thin, glasses/no glasses... whatever. Obviously, you have to find the person attractive, but my advice is to not base too much on looks. Someone can become more attractive based on their personality and your chemistry, but the most boring, hot-dude ever, is still boring no matter how much time you spend with him, so... (How long can you stare at someone, before it gets old?)
Lastly, don't be afraid to make the first move (ladies). I messaged a few people in 2 weeks but only 1 responded - he was a 98% Match and 4 % Enemy (I don't remember what the Friend % was). I kept my message brief, but tried to put a little humor in it, too. I think it was "Since I've stalked your profile a few times now, I thought I would say hello. Hello! Let me know if you want to get a drink sometime."
I didn't want to waste time going back and forth with emails and then get together and have nothing to talk about, because we already covered everything prior. I also feel that emails don't really give you an accurate idea of what someone is like. They could be totally different in person, and now you've both just wasted your time.
Other than that, just keep an open mind, and have fun with it! The second internet dating becomes a chore, you should take a break.
(Oh, and this should go without saying, but when you do meet someone, make sure it's in a public place and they're not picking you up. Stay safe.)
Have any of y'all internet dated? Have any advice or fun(ny) stories?
